Petersarsterisms

Nov 18
Nov 16
Nov 16
Nov 16
Nov 16
animalstalkinginallcaps:

FINALLY. WE’VE BEEN DRIVING FOR DAYS. 
I AM GOING TO BUY SO MANY FLÖRGS AND BJÅRNBLÛBS IT WILL MAKE YOUR FACE FALL OFF OF YOUR FACE.
OH, AND DON’T LET ME FORGET LITTLE LIGHTBULBS FOR MY SLÖLM.

animalstalkinginallcaps:

FINALLY. WE’VE BEEN DRIVING FOR DAYS. 

I AM GOING TO BUY SO MANY FLÖRGS AND BJÅRNBLÛBS IT WILL MAKE YOUR FACE FALL OFF OF YOUR FACE.

OH, AND DON’T LET ME FORGET LITTLE LIGHTBULBS FOR MY SLÖLM.

Nov 16
animalstalkinginallcaps:

YEAH, BEN WENT TO GO GET MORE TEQUILA. HE SHOULD BE BACK IN LIKE, FIFTEEN MINUTES.
IF YOU WANT THERE’S SOME CORONAS IN THE COOLER. THEY WON’T GET YOU DRUNK BUT IF YOU SHOVE ABOUT SEVEN LIME WEDGES IN THERE THEY STOP TASTING LIKE GENTLY CARBONATED WATER AND ARE ALMOST KIND OF GOOD.

animalstalkinginallcaps:

YEAH, BEN WENT TO GO GET MORE TEQUILA. HE SHOULD BE BACK IN LIKE, FIFTEEN MINUTES.

IF YOU WANT THERE’S SOME CORONAS IN THE COOLER. THEY WON’T GET YOU DRUNK BUT IF YOU SHOVE ABOUT SEVEN LIME WEDGES IN THERE THEY STOP TASTING LIKE GENTLY CARBONATED WATER AND ARE ALMOST KIND OF GOOD.

Nov 16
animalstalkinginallcaps:

IT’S 3PM.
PLEASE GET UP. I’M STARVING.
LOOK, I KNOW YOU’RE UPSET ABOUT THE BREAKUP BUT LET’S FACE FACTS: DANIEL WAS AN EMOTIONALLY MANIPULATIVE MAN-CHILD WHOSE ONLY REDEEMING FEATURE WAS AN INEXPLICABLE CAPACITY FOR PERFECTLY RECALLING LATE ‘90S R&B LYRICS AND POSSIBLE ACCOMPANYING DANCE MOVES.
I’M NOT SAYING HE DIDN’T DO A PRETTY IMPRESSIVE DRU HILL, BUT THAT’S NOT SOMETHING THAT COULD HAVE SUSTAINED A RELATIONSHIP LONG-TERM, OKAY? IT REALLY ISN’T.

animalstalkinginallcaps:

IT’S 3PM.

PLEASE GET UP. I’M STARVING.

LOOK, I KNOW YOU’RE UPSET ABOUT THE BREAKUP BUT LET’S FACE FACTS: DANIEL WAS AN EMOTIONALLY MANIPULATIVE MAN-CHILD WHOSE ONLY REDEEMING FEATURE WAS AN INEXPLICABLE CAPACITY FOR PERFECTLY RECALLING LATE ‘90S R&B LYRICS AND POSSIBLE ACCOMPANYING DANCE MOVES.

I’M NOT SAYING HE DIDN’T DO A PRETTY IMPRESSIVE DRU HILL, BUT THAT’S NOT SOMETHING THAT COULD HAVE SUSTAINED A RELATIONSHIP LONG-TERM, OKAY? IT REALLY ISN’T.

Nov 16
animalstalkinginallcaps:

I’M SERIOUS, GET ME THE HELL OUT OF HERE. YOU SAID YOU WERE GOING OUT FOR A CIGARETTE LIKE, TWO HOURS AGO. THIS GUY HAS BEEN TALKING TO ME ABOUT SOMETHING CALLED ‘SKYRIM’ EVER SINCE YOU LEFT.
OUR FRIENDSHIP IS HANGING IN THE BALANCE HERE. FIND YOUR OTHER SHOE AND LET’S GO.

animalstalkinginallcaps:

I’M SERIOUS, GET ME THE HELL OUT OF HERE. YOU SAID YOU WERE GOING OUT FOR A CIGARETTE LIKE, TWO HOURS AGO. THIS GUY HAS BEEN TALKING TO ME ABOUT SOMETHING CALLED ‘SKYRIM’ EVER SINCE YOU LEFT.

OUR FRIENDSHIP IS HANGING IN THE BALANCE HERE. FIND YOUR OTHER SHOE AND LET’S GO.

Nov 16
animalstalkinginallcaps:

I SAID I HAVE A HEADACHE, CARL. I’M NOT IN THE MOOD.
I SWEAR TO GOD YOU’RE LIKE A TEENAGER SOMETIMES.

animalstalkinginallcaps:

I SAID I HAVE A HEADACHE, CARL. I’M NOT IN THE MOOD.

I SWEAR TO GOD YOU’RE LIKE A TEENAGER SOMETIMES.

Nov 16